i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So much rum. So many feels.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
