we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
