Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
there is puke in my bra ... again
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
