he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
