I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
