Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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