Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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