So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
