No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
