Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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