This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
True but thats because hes a fetus.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
