can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I think I just shit out all my problems.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
