i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
