I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
