he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
