all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
