i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
In other news, I just burned my penis
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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