Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
