Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
