Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
