Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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