im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize