Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
