I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
