My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
