idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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