East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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