I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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