I hope mine doesn't look like that
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
