I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize