Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
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