i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
