a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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