the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
