the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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