She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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