You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
