Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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