its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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