if i can run in heels then i can drive
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
