i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
