Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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