i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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