Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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