To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Sober January is a disaster.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize