Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
