yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
3pm strippers are depressing
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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