why didn't you poke me back
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
