Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
