toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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