ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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