ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
