im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize