i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Sorry about my life...
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
