i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
