Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
