Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
