I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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