i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
